Posts Tagged ‘funny’

reFUEL Rap Songs August 16, 2009

Hey guys what’s UP!!! Last night was AWESOME!!! Special shout out to MICHAEL BERRY and my team the RED TEAM!! You guys killed it last night!  Here are all of your Rap Songs from last night!

  • RED TEAM: to the tune of Soulja Boy ” SUPERMAN”

Here with Jesus is how we ROLL

reFUEL is the place to GO

Watch me crank that PINEAPPLE

Watch our Dreams FLOW.

What me PRAY on a SUNDAY

Read my BIBLE EVERYDAY

Jesus got my back I say

Red team going all the wayyyy!!!

  • GREEN TEAM:  to the tune of T.I & Rihanna “LIVE YOUR LIFE”

Workin in a pineapple field

livin my life like Doc. Phil

Give advice makin everything Nice

Tryin to keep it real.

Just live your DREAMS

like the GREEN TEAM

Just live your DREAMS

Be a PINEAPPLE  KING!!

  • BLUE TEAM: to the tune of Flo Rida ft. T-Pain “LOW”

Shawty got them

Pineapple dreams

slippers with fur

the produce isle

was lookin at her

next thing you know

she ate it whole

Shawty said  got yum yum yum yum..

  • YELLOW  TEAM: to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “THRILLER”

Got to get that pineapple

I just dream about it all night

Like Sponge Bob the Friendliest cartoon dude.

Really he’s obnoxious

But my pineapple all poky is sweet

want to get some of that yellow

like a marsh mellow out of my head.

 

Great Job guys!!! Remember next Sunday at reFUEL is Spirit week. So REPRESENT your team!! You can make banners or whatever you wanna do & I’ll let you come early to set it up. Just let me know.

 ALSO.. Don’t forget to make sure you sign up for the “TRUTH PROJECT” life group. SATURDAY August 22nd is our “MISSION Project CURE” be at church by 8:30am till about 12pm.  You have any questions just ask! See ya guys this weekend!!!

Self Convo: Going to Church

So I was thinking, since I’m saved, do I really have to go to church?

Why wouldn’t you?

Well, I don’t think I need to go every week!

But isn’t going to church something you’re supposed to do since you’re a Christian?

I mean it doesn’t really say that, plus sometimes it’s the same thing over & over again.

True, but going to church is where you get up lifted.

Not really, they’re just always telling me not to do wrong & what I’m doing wrong!

Ouch, seems pretty negative. 

Tell me about it, it’s like saying, “DON’T TOUCH THAT BUTTON!”  I just want to touch it more!

Then maybe you should go because of the great people there.

Have you ever been to church?

On occasion.

Then you haven’t been to mine, the people there are stupid.

What do you mean?

Mean, arrogant, stuck up, hypocritical, crazy, hopeless, no fun, brainless, faithless, passionless, apathetic, lethargic, no vision, negative people.

Wow, sounds like you’re being pretty negative there.

I guess they rubbed off on me.

Didn’t Jesus say He loves His church?

Yeah, but does He really love it the way it is?  I mean it’s pretty ugly!

Whoa, now I know Jesus said the church is like his bride…so you just called Jesus’ wife ugly!

Never looked at it that way.  Lord, I apologize.

Well how about I just join of one of those TV churches?

Bu who will you call when you have marriage problems.

Dr. Phil of course!

No, seriously, not going to church is like a student who doesn’t go to school, or a soldier who won’t join the army, a citizen who doesn’t pay taxes or vote (got a lot of those in America)

Ok I get it.

It’s like a salesman with no customers, a captain without a ship, an author with no readers…(Pretty much like this blog L)

Another thing I don’t like is how guilty the church makes me feel…& then I get to pay for my guilt every time they pass that gold shiny offering plate.

Not going is like a tuba player without an orchestra, a football player without a team, a bee without a hive, a banker without money, a doctor without parents.

Are you done yet?!

Yeah I ran out.

It’s about time.

Well, how will the church get any better if you just sit here complaining about it?

What do you mean?

Think about it!  If everyone sat & complained, then the church would stay the same & never change & get better. 

I’m not just complaining, I’m not going & then when it gets better I’ll go!

My point exactly…it’s never going to get better unless you make it better.  The people make the church what it is.

Good thinking, I like that idea, I’ll go just to change everything!!

Hold up sparky!

What is it now?

There are actually some sincere people there as well, & you don’t need to change everything.

Why not?

The church doesn’t need a new program or idea, I’m sure there are plenty of ideas.

Then how will the church change?

Being consistent.

Huh?

I know it’s foreign to a lot of Christians.  But just doing what you say you’ll do.

I’ll try my best, but what if I mess up?

Too late, you already messed up because you’re running late for church!

Oh ok, gotta go…good talk!

ReFUEL 6/28 – Pineapple Songs!

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Well guys, as everyone found on this past Sunday at ReFUEL we have a new mascot that you’ll be seeing everywhere.  It’s weird, crazy, makes absolutely no sense!  It’s not your typical lion, tiger, bear or eagle that means strength & all that other jazz!  So without any other delay….drumroll please!

ITS A PINEAPPLE!  I know, I know, I know….you’re thinking, “WHAT IN THE WORLD?!”  Well a pineapple means friendship or welcoming.  And at ReFUEL that’s what we’re about, great relationships & welcoming.

So this past Sunday before we break for July, which by the way, ReFUEL during July Sunday nights will be at 5pm-7pm, but it’ll be in the Zone.  We’ll be hanging out playing games.  Well, sorry for the promo!  But these are the songs you all wrote this past Sunday & performed.  Group #1 was our winners!

GROUP #1: Juicers

This goes to the tune of Jingle Bells:
“Pineapple, pineapple, friendship all the way. 
We come to ReFUEL because its really cool.
So come & join us today – HEY!

Sunday & Tuesday Niiights, we come to hang & learn. 
Satan is a fool & Jesus is way, way cool! 
Come with us to ReFUEL, cause we’re the pinapples that rule!  lalalal hey!

GROUP #2: Pineapple Palms

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Joshua O’Bannion  (REPEAT MANY TIMES)
Who’s the bald, harry & funny guy is he? Joshua O’Bannion.”

GROUP #3: The Standing L’s

“Who’s mascot is a pineapple under the sky? REFUEL YOUR SOUL.
It’s orange, it’s green, it’s yummy as can be.  REFUEL YOUR SOUL.
It’s friendship & fun is something you wish.  Then this s the place you get all of this.  REFUEL YOUR SOUL. (REPEAT 4 TIMES)

GROUP #4: The Pin Apples

“Pineapple stands for friendship & it’s…juicy, tasty, flavorful & yummy!  It’s a pinapppppppple, it makes me feel so good & could just do a dance then sing along.

P-I-N-E-A-P-P-L-E is the treat for you & me.

I’ll have to add you guys music videos if someone taped them.  You guys are so much fun, I’ll be looking forward to hanging with all of you on Sunday nights during July.  DON’T MISS IT!

Video: UPDATED

Sorry about the video yesterday, here it is with the sound!

ReFUEL June 14, 2009

I believe I should start at with apologies to Spencer & Michael who were juiced last night!   But hey you got a free T-Shirt & other free stuff.  haha

ReFUEL was a blast last night!  You guys came up with some creative stories once again.  In our series ‘HOOKED’, we’re in week 3 & talked about “Getting Rid of the Hook”.  We learned what we’re supposed to do when we get hooked.  Satan is like a fisherman.  He’ll keep trying different baits to hook you. 

Well, during the night in small group times you had a task.  Write a funny story of someone getting hooked on something.  It couldn’t be the normal drugs or alcohol.  So once again, here are your stories ReFUEL:

GROUP #1:  TAPOUT

ADDICTION:  Making Goats Faint

“Back in Africa, in a country called Mozambique, I made a goat faint.  Then I laughed, it filled me with such joy that I continued to do it.  It was awesome, the goats all of a sudden made better milk.  The goat said, “Milk me!”  But then the goat started to fly & became SUPER GOAT!  Eventually, the goat started to fly away.  And you couldn’t catch him anymore.  It flew too far & ended up in heaven.  Making goats faint brings them closer to God.”

GROUP #2: CHOCOLATE ROBO-COPS

ADDICTION: Sniffing People’s Socks

“So there’s this guy…& from he outside he looks like your normal squirrel, but do not be deceived.  He really is a 1 eyed, 1 horned, flying purple people eater.  With his humongous nose he loves to sniff socks.  He lives in the locker room & takes people’s socks.  From babies to old men, he smell them all.  And…it’s awkward.”

GROUP #3: CHIMICHANGAS

ADDICTION: Josh hooked on hot dogs & Scorpions

“One day an orphan named Josh O’Bannion owned a hot dog shack full of snakes & scorpions.  He was poisoned & the only thing he could eat was a hot dog.  He lived in the mountains like a caveman.  His best friend Keith Suggs was in town being held for ransom & the payment was 4 hot dogs, a box of scorpions & a chili cheese fry.  Josh lost 350lbs. & decided not to be hooked on hot dogs & scorpions.  5 days later he was called to be on the Pastor Phil show in regards to his addiction.”

GROUP #4: THE ALPACAS

ADDICTION: Jacob Preciado Hooked on Nail Polish

“Jacob Preciado got hooked on nail polish.  His favorite colors were hot pink & rainbow.  His favorite brand was PRO.  He is allergic to acitone & peanut butter.  One day it was sunny & Jacob brought in Phillip’s tighty whities to refuel.  He was wearing purple nail police & was showing it off to everyone at refuel prom.  Then he wore phillip’s, ate soup & became a ninja with tighty whities.  THE END.”

Well, there are your stories.  Don’t forget to get your refuel wrist bands!  Coming soon…T SHIRTS & MUGS!